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Playful Parenting with Teenagers--Success Stories
Many people wonder if Playful Parenting applies to preteens and
teenagers, as well as to younger children. Yes! But the ways
they choose to connect with us can look different, and the
challenges for us as parents can be different also. One trick is
to be available at those times when they are ready to
talk--since they often aren't eager to talk on OUR timetable.
Along these lines, a step-dad writes: "I had a great connection
with my twelve year old step-son, and all I needed to do was
stay up past midnight (not an easy thing for me!). We went to
see a late movie after his mom went to bed, and even though we
both hated the movie, we had a great time trashing it after. I
think maybe there is something about late nights that makes kids
more talkative--he usually doesn't have a lot to say to me but
driving back and forth to the movie at a time when we were both
usually sleeping must have made a difference, since he opened up
a lot. I also get "coolness" points for talking his mom into
letting him stay up late."
A
mother writes: "It has taken me a long time, but I finally
learned to keep my mouth shut when my daughter (15) starts
talking about things like sex and drugs and all that. I used to
leap in and grill her about all the details--who is doing what
and where did she learn these things and doesn't she know
that...and so on and so on. Of course she clammed up immediately
and all my probing and prodding wouldn't get her to talk any
more. Now I somehow manage to keep my lip zipped and just
listen. In my head I am screaming "Oh my God!" but I just smile
and say "uh huh" and instead of clamming up she keeps going. The
funny thing is that even though I am hearing more I am worrying
less, because once I really hear what she has to say--though I
am shocked at what teenagers are doing these days--I see what
good judgment she has."
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