The purposes of play

§         Joy

§         Try on adult roles

§         Explore the world

§         Explore one’s own capabilities

§         Connect and reconnect

§         Work through hurts and upsets

Learning and Play
Children learn best when they are happy and relaxed, and when they have a chance to play (both quietly and running around actively) in between times when they are sitting still or focusing on schoolwork.  They learn best when they direct the pace and content of their own learning as much as possible, just like they play best when they can choose what and how to play.

Normal social pain versus children at risk:
Low risk children have at least one friend, and feel a sense of belonging to group, but still experience the very real pain of having secrets betrayed, liking someone more than that person likes them, being teased occasionally, or wishing to have a higher social status.

High risk children can be super-popular kids (queen bees and alpha males) who are dethroned and rejected, or who learn to mistrust friendships; rejected children who are actively disliked by most or all peers (they can become aggressive and obnoxious or withdrawn, fearful and depressed); neglected children who are neither liked nor disliked by peers because they are unknown and keep a low profile (risk of depression); or controversial children who are actively liked and disliked, such as bullies, class clowns, clique leaders, kids with ADHD (risk of not fitting in as adults).

Fill my cup!
Every child has a “cup” that needs to be filled--and repeatedly refilled--with love affection, security and attention.  Cups are filled by play, friendship, one-on-one time, love and affection, connection, success, doing what they love, doing what they choose, being known.
Cups are emptied by stress and strain, school (especially if it doesn’t come easily), separation from loved ones, loneliness and isolation, yelling and punishment, failing, doing what they hate to do, doing what they are forced to do.  Children with low or empty cups often steal from other people’s cups (grabbing toys or attention), misbehave, can’t sit still, act aggressively, fight for refills, or withdraw.

Adventures in Neuroscience