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Some parent success stories
"I have a personal parenting goal to get at least one long belly
laugh out of each of my kids every day. It really seems to drain
the stress out of them, and it makes me feel like a good mom."
"With all I have going on I never just want to sit and play. But
when I do, it's so rewarding. My 4yo's favorite thing to do with
me is play that she's the mommy and I'm the little girl. Boy, do
I get an earful when she acts like me! It makes me cringe
sometimes! But it's also a great way to find out what's going on
in her head."
"I've had your playful parenting approaches in the back of my
mind ever since we met. I had a minor success last night, and
wrote about it on my blog (weblog):click
here
A parent writes:
"Playful Parenting had a dramatic impact on a frustrating
situation I had with my 4 year old son. I was very confused by
his repeated slamming of the refrigerator. He knew I didn't like
it. He knew why I didn't like it (stuff would break and had
actually broken one time in the past). And, he still did it. I
started to read in Playful Parenting that children benefit from
experiencing anger in a playful way. So, one day, after he had
done it for the hundredth time, I yelled, "DID YOU
SLAM THE REFRIGERATOR" with a slight smile on my
face.
He nodded yes and I went into a comical tirade about how crazy
and mad I was about him slamming the refrigerator. He started
cracking up laughing! So I continued with my tirade. I have to
admit, I was uncomfortable at first because I am a very low key
person and I don't yell much. But, it was clear from his
reaction that exactly what he needed was to see me playfully
angry. It happened a few more times. I would do the exact same
comically angry reaction. Soon, instead of actually slamming the
refrigerator, he would just say to me, "I slammed the
refrigerator." And, I would do my routine. We did that for
months! We use Playful Parenting in so many areas now. But, that
was the first and it was so clear what he needed once I acted
playfully. It is so beautiful now, we have code words when he
wants to see me silly angry."
Another parent writes:
A
couple of months ago my 11 year old son declared he didn't want
to be in school band anymore. When I probed, it turned out it
was because he didn't like the music he had to learn & was
finding it difficult. I encouraged him to talk about it, and
listened for a while, but also commented that having difficulty
with a piece of music was not a reason to stop, and to consider
what a sense of achievement he would feel if he could master it.
I mostly listened, and didn't pressure him at all. (Actually, I
really didn't want him to quit, but I tried to keep my feelings
out of it).
A
few days later I was sitting with him while he was practicing
his flute and after a while suggested he practice the piece he
didn't like. He complained a bit, but started to do it. I held
the music for him and did a "formal" introduction to the piece,
reading the name and composer etc. in the kind of breathless,
respectful voice you hear classical music radio announcers use
(well, you do in Australia, don't know about the US). He thought
it was very funny and insisted I read every word on the page,
including copyright and publishing info, page number, and words
within the music score.
After he'd gone through it once - and I'd applauded and
appreciated how well he played - I suggested he do it again. He
said he would, if I could remember every word on the page
without looking at it. We spent about half an hour with me
trying to memorize the page and him laughing and being bossy and
not letting me see it for more than a few seconds at a time. I
remembered, while this was happening, that one of the things
he'd complained about earlier was that if one person in band got
something wrong, they would have to start the whole piece again
- it was clear he was replaying this with me.
After a while, he'd put a piece of his flute away for every
failed attempt on my part. He ended up not having to play it
again, because I couldn't memorize the words, but since that day
he has mastered the piece of music and never again said he
wanted to quit band. In fact, a couple of weeks ago when he
wasn't feeling well on the morning of band practice and I
suggested he go to school late, he said "But I LOVE band, why
would I want to miss it?"!
I
was very pleased with myself and thought it was a great
illustration of how well playful parenting works. It didn't even
take very much of my time and was a low stress solution.
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