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teasing
The following is excerpted from Mom They're Teasing Me by Michael Thompson, Lawrence Cohen, and Catherine Grace.  Click here to learn more or to purchase this book.

Mom They're Teasing Me: Children at Risk

Popular children:  In the younger grades, being popular is the same as being well-liked and having many friends.  As children get older they can be popular, but also be disliked or even feared, because of their social power.  These “queen bees” and “alpha males” may eventually be dethroned and become rejected, or they might not be able to trust that their friendships are genuine.

Accepted children:  These children are well-liked, but are not at the very top of the social scene.  Most importantly, they have friends and they feel a part of the group.  They do experience social suffering--they may have a fight with a friend, get teased, have a secret betrayed, or wish to be higher status than they are.  But they are not at serious risk.

Rejected children:  Rejected children are actively disliked by the majority of their peers, or sometimes by everyone in their class or grade.  Some of them, rejected-aggressive children, respond to this rejection by being aggressive and obnoxious.  Or they were overly aggressive first, which may have contributed to their rejection.   They run the risk of criminal or antisocial behavior, dropping out of school, and substance abuse problems.  Other rejected children are rejected-submissive.  They are the ones who are the victims of bullies, who don’t fight back or speak up.  The risk they run is of depression and severe loneliness, but on the positive side, rejected-submissive children usually find a friend or a supportive peer group by the time they reach high school or shortly thereafter.

Neglected children:  Some children are neither liked nor disliked by peers.  They are almost invisible, even to their teachers, because they tend to do their work and keep quiet and don’t misbehave.  They run the risk of depression or even suicide. 

Controversial children:  Class clowns, bullies, clique leaders, and kids with ADHD often have one thing in common -- they are strongly liked by some people (at least some of the time) and strongly disliked by others.  This makes them controversial, and they have a risk of not fitting in when they grow up.
 

Larry Cohen
phone: 617-713-0568

email: larjack@playfulparenting.com

 
Larry Cohen
1693 Beacon Street | Brookline, MA 02445 | Tel: 617-713-0568

email: larjack@playfulparenting.com