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bullying

This material on bullying is adapted from the book Bullying at School, by Dan Olweus.  

VICTIMS
BULLIES
A TYPICAL SCENARIO
DEBUNKING MYTHS
PARENTING STRATEGIES 

Dan Olweus (Bullying At School:  What We Know And What We Can Do About It, Oxford,U.K.:Blackwell, 1993) conducted  studies with hundreds of thousands of Norwegian and Swedish schoolchildren, some with long-term follow ups, and reviewed the U.S. and international literature.  Here is a summary:

VICTIMS
Submissive victims:   Most children repeatedly victimized by bullies are anxious, insecure, lonely, abandoned, and do not have a single good friend.    See self as unattractive and stupid.  Generally have negative attitude to violence. Temperamentally sensitive.  Signal to others that they are insecure and worthless individuals who will not retaliate if they are attacked or insulted. 

Provocative victims:  A smaller number of victims are provocative, aggressive, have poor concentration, irritate others and increase tension around them.  Disliked by class and teacher.

Protective factors:  Physical strength, popularity, and having a friend.

BULLIES
Typical bullies:   Generally aggressive, have positive attitude towards violence, impulsive, need to dominate others, little empathy with victims, positive view of self.  Physically strong.

Henchmen:  Dependent  and insecure, poor social skills, see aggression modeled by someone seen as tough and strong, see bully's behavior rewarded by lack of punishment.

Risk factors:  maternal lack of warmth, lack of supervision, no limits on aggressiveness, power assertive discipline (physical punishment and violent outbursts); child is temperamentally active and hot-headed. 

A TYPICAL SCENARIO
Among the boys in a class, there are normally....many slight aggressive interactions, partly for fun, as a form of self-assertion and for the testing out of strength relations....If there is a potential bully (or several)....the interactions will be rougher, more vehement and violent.... Even minor adversities and frustrations lead to intense reactions....due to the physical strength of the bully, his aggressive attacks are often unpleasant and painful to others.  Even if he prefers to attack the weakest boys, whom he is certain of defeating, he is also not afraid of starting fights with other boys....he feels strong and self-confident.

If there is a potential passive whipping boy (victim) in the class--anxious, insecure, fearful of being assertive and aggressive, and often physically weak as well--he will soon be discovered by the bully....he feels rather alone and isolated....ideal target....give the bully a marked feeling of superiority and supremacy....bully wants to have others join him, and he soon induces his closest friends to pick on the whipping boy.  There is always something in the looks, clothing, or manners...that can be attacked....adults at school frequently do not pay attention to the fuss or...let the boys themselves settle the conflicts.  The whipping boy does not seem to say much to his parents....other boys are also active in harassing...he is a safe target....almost deserves a beating...becomes more and more isolated among his peers. (p. 37-39).

DEBUNKING MYTHS
Bullying is not a bigger problem in urban areas than in rural schools.                
Not more frequent in large schools or schools with large class size.
Not a lower incidence in one-room schoolhouses with a “family environment. 
No evidence that bullying behavior by boys is caused by poor grades or school failures (bullies and victims both earn lower than average marks, especially grades 7-12.) 
Recent study in Netherlands showed no greater level of victimization for Moroccan, Turkish or Surinamese immigrants than for native Dutch boys same age (12-17).
No evidence that bullies have underlying low self esteem. They actually have unusually little anxiety and insecurity... 
No evidence that bullies are really cowards who don't want to fight and thus only intimidate little or weak kids.

Parents of bullies can:  take it seriously, have consistent rules and limits and consequences, praise effort and change, increase supervision and monitoring, increase positive activities.

Parents of victims can:  coordinate with teacher, encourage child generally, address overall anxiety/insecurity, develop talents, engage in physical training and sports, help find and keep a friend, be less overprotective, increase opportunities for contact; for provocative victims parents can help with child’s social skills, increase self-confidence, address hyperactivity and impulsivity.
 

Larry Cohen
phone: 617-713-0568

email: larjack@playfulparenting.com

 
Larry Cohen
1693 Beacon Street | Brookline, MA 02445 | Tel: 617-713-0568

email: larjack@playfulparenting.com